Make me a panelist - I wanna channel this
Lately I’m pandering to break in the fandom biz
Show up and go up and sign posters
Do a whole cup and throw up or rhyme sober
Not an eye roller, I just want the fines lowered
Cus I wanna be at Harmony, BABS and High Roller
Before the time’s over - I can handle it -
Make me a, make me a ponycore panelist - please.

Yo con people, you should listen to this
If you need a hand than this an awesome bus-in-ess pitch
I put some Syndicate spits up on a history kick
And pony music folks are writing bout how Dith is the shit
So I know stuff and won’t blow chunks cus I’m too cool for that
And PowerPoint game’s on lock, I went to school for that
I’ll give em new shit in the Hall of Magic
None these platitude tips like “try hard” and “always practice.”
Might do some rap fights, but safe-for-work and mad nice
And won’t get insecure and make my listeners all clap twice
Cus they’re not monkeys - and if I spit it too hard
And there’s a tech prob I’ll shrug and deliver it from cue cards
Peeps can come up after chattin if they wanna rap with Dith
Business card’ll have a Shipfic card up on the back of it
Like a cool guy in a Coco hat with his face down.
“Take the lowest rated goal if you can freestyle an 8 now.“

[Hook]

I don’t have shit to sell, I’m just a man with a dream
He could stand to achieve before he leaves the fandom in peace
And BronyCon, I know you got some standards to meet
I’ll leave my socks at the door and set my lanyard to green
So don’t go running to the arms of filler panelists
Droning bout some other fandom, y’know that swill is damagin’
Or people bumping social media who’ll bury you in selfies
Or the ninety third panel about how Mary Sues are healthy
Just tell me that you want me and I’ll rush out to be there for you
And throw some inspiration at the people like a merry muse
Snare some views from honies like a true unique bastard
Marry dudes to plushies as a ULC pastor
That’s free too, or else I can do it off the premises
And benefit, I’ll even drop my bad words for emphasis
And easy rhymes - make a more pleasing type rendition soon
But fIrst I gotta write a couple songs that kids can listen to, though.

[Hook]

Hey man, I’ll sign your conbook at the concert tonight
I’m awkard despite my grind on the hotness of mics
I got what I like in life in a headstart for sure
After dark nurse whiskey like Redheart at work
This is fire as miss Dazzle or ponies or lit candles
I’ll purge all my freestyle flows and binge samples
And spit answers shameless reporters get in shambles
And normies get so jealous they put it on cringe channels
I’ll singe vandals and watch haterers get trampled
When I stop hard to dismantle, drop bars like six anvils
And the press on Dith’s panel ain’t bested since scandals
I’ll be fucking up this con so hard that the shit’s cancelled

[Hook]